The clock ticks mercilessly and my bloodshot eyes stays open. It’s been 5 nights that I have been unable to sleep, unable to lay my head into rest in this web of lie that stretches out too far for my hands to pull it all back in. I wish you would come save me, I wish I could save myself.
I’m so very tired.. I’m seeing people in darks and greys and my head is swirling at a speed so fast I can’t seem to catch a breath.
All I want is to sleep. All I need is to sleep. All I want is to sleep…
I’ve got to learn how to sleep without a care in this world.
It must be bliss.
I wonder how it must be to live without ever belonging to one place to another.
If I’m too old or too young for an adventure that never ends.
I have forgotten what it feels like to let words flow from one to another.
And now that I remember, I’m a million words stronger,
I’m tired of living in a chess game, where every step I take is calculated with extreme precision. I’m tired of being cynical, of not believing, of trying to convince myself that happiness just couldn’t be this easy.
I’m free falling for the first time in my life. All the tiny bits and pieces of emotions and beauty conjured up into this highest level of potent intensity, I never felt more alive.
People would say that this is careless, that trusting blindly in the face of so many uncertainities in life is a sure sign of insanity. But I know I couldn’t live another way. Can’t live without knowing, can’t run without coming back, and can’t love without giving it my all.
Life has never been better, now that I’m finally living in the present 
.
You know what I am excited about?! THIS movie is what I’m excited about! Oh and also the end of my internship (2 weeks down, 6 more to go, what what!)
Forget about the lame ass Bella character that Kristen Stewart has to play in Twilight series, she does badass so much better than weak, dependant characters. Heres the trailer for the Runaways with K. Stewart as Joan Jett, chair throwing, don’t mess with me face and all. Oh and Dakato Fanning is in it too, looking all kinds of weirdly grown up O.O too much make up, but hey, she looks okay in the promo pictures. 15 years old sudah, I still remember you screaming till my ears almost bled in Wars of the World. Why it almost seemed like yesterday when you were 8-9 years old, annoying and screechy, Dakota!
Lo, behold the trailer:
AND promo picture:
GEMBIRA! Can’t wait till March 19 2010!
I had a dream one of the nights this week, couldn’t remember which though, cause I’ve been clocking around 11 hours of sleep time per day. Yeah, the week before exam does this to you. But anyway, back to the dream, it was of a carousel, and I hate carousels. Because they are useless funfare-y things that goes round and round with strange unmoving horses poked through thick poles. The only thing that I could reluctantly like about on a carousel would be the teacups, but only those with the spinning wheels in the middle.
Right back on to the dream, the carousel. It was moving at a speed of 150km/h, which I know for a fact because in my dream there was speed meters stuck on to each one of them horses that were galloping around in the carousel. So it was like this- the carousel spinning beyond normal, sane carousel speed by itself, the horses moving even faster by themselves, and one lonesome me, in the middle of this chaos ride. If you were standing outside of the carousel in my dream, I would be that tiny blimp that zooms right past you every 0.1 second or less. There must have been around 14 of them horses, each neighing like the maniacally speeding creatures they were, with no drowsy music blaring from the carousel sound system. The neighing was it, the neighing was the music.
I was sitting on one of them horses and naturally started negotiating with it on how I would give it a lump of barley, or an apple, if it just stop because I didn’t want to die that early. It took about 5 minutes for me to realize that horses don’t speak human and then I proceeded on with the next rational step, shout at the speed meter, wishing for it to just miraculously go down. The situation was already depressingly crappy by itself when all of a sudden a clown appears out of thin air. It was as if my dream just promptly decided at that point that suicidal galloping horses weren’t scary enough that they had to top it with a clown. Top hat, big ass smile, make up and everything. And he proceeded to deliberately sit on the other horse, right next to me. 13 horses and he chose the one beside. The clown just sat there the whole time, grinning stupidly while I was hanging on to dear life.
The rest of the dream was equally bizarre and crazy like that, but for the life of me I can’t remember the full details. The next thing I knew was that I had cotton candy on my hand, and two talking poodles having a conversation in a turning plate in front of me. That was about the time I decided that I had enough, and tried to leave from what I presume to be a dream. I kept trying to use my one cotton candy-less arm to slap myself out of it, but I couldn’t. I was stuck in both side, the one that was sleeping outside and the spinning me in the insides of my head.
I wouldn’t lie and say that it wasn’t one of the scariest things that I ever experienced. The one ability I always have in me was the ability to differentiate between reality and dreams, that and knowing when and how to shake myself out of a dream especially when it gets too fantastically awesome, or downright frightful. But with that dream, at that time, it was as if I suddenly lost my senses on which part of me was dreamland me and which part the real-land me. It was either the one of me that is still sleeping, or the other who is moving ridiculously fast, riding on a horse confined within a carousel, at that moment, I really had no clue which one was I.
I woke up in the end that morning. Don’t know how and what the dream entailed after I kept trying to slap dream-me, but I woke up. It was then that I decided I don’t ever want to not be able to wake myself up from a dream again. Or sit a carousel. Yoda would say a shitty dream, it was.
“If I don’t say this now, I will surely break
As I’m leaving the one I want to take
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate
Oh, oh,
Be my baby
Ohhhhh
Oh, oh
Be my baby
I’ll look after you
There now, steady love, so few come and don’t go
Will you won’t you, be the one I’ll always know
When I’m losing my control, the city spins around
You’re the only one who knows, you slow it down
Oh, oh
Be my baby
Ohhhhhh
Oh, oh
Be my Baby
I’ll look after you
And I’ll look after you”
I’m having one of those days, where I’m feeling unusually happy and productive.Nothing like birds chirping, sun shining, dustbins that are properly closed and a happy state of mind. You never know when full emotions like this would swing by, so I intend to make good use of it. First, clean my room. Second, find the exact location of my Harry Potter books 1 and 2. Third, to sing along to happy music. And do a little bit of wooden-ish dancing along. Then finally, to rewatch Mean Girls again. That movie is seriously one of the most quotable movies ever, -”You go Glen Coco!”
Do you know they make this orange flavor-ed cough medicine that I truly to think is the best tasting medicine ever? If it weren’t for the fact that overdosing on a medicine is something that is probably a danger to health, I could probably just drink the whole bottle like that, because this cough syrup is that good. I would upload the picture of the cough mixture right now in my blog, if it weren’t for my concern that it is probably not the best idea to promote a medicine that is essentially a kind of mild drug (medicinal though) in a blog. It might be illegal O.O
Anyway, I’m just posting this up because I don”t want the other posts to feel lonely without a new friend, seeing as how I will most likely be very busy from next week onwards. Blog, remember, when I do abandon you, it isn’t because I love you less this days, but only because my school work hates me more. You will still always be the first place I go to whenever I want to spill my verbal guts out, and no other media outlet will ever replace that.
With that, I end this with a slight bow, and a little twirl. I will back with more when I do. Maybe with a new style of writing for the sake of experimenting. Haiku next time perhaps? Done and deal. Signing off!
I never knew that this day would happen, but I think I’m really beginning to LOVE 30rock. Used to watch this show on a random basis on TV last time, but now I finally see what I’ve truly been missing. Move aside Friends Series, 30Rock is about to take over your spot as favorite comedy. Why you ask? Well:
Exhibit A:
Liz Lemon: And I don’t really think it is fair for me to be on the jury because I’m a hologram.
HAHAHA, plus the whole playgirl magazine there. Shit, I am not even a big fan of Star Wars, but THIS made me laugh like no business.
Exhibit B:
This made me want to see the world as singing muppets too!! Kenneth the page is my most favorite 30Rock character ever (the usual preferences are Liz Lemon or Jack). The accent, the smile, the slightly deranged look towards the end LOL.
Exhibit C:
And finally, the reason why Alec Baldwin deservingly got an Emmy.
“Oye papi callate, people are sleeping you know”
” Mind your own damn business, Mrs. Rodriguez!”
HAHAHA
October 15, season 4. Proceeds to learn how to do impersonations to be as cool as Alec Baldwin is. Hats off, Jack, hats off.
Why post secret still remains one of my favorite websites to this day:
Below are a few of the websites postcard that I have kept over the weekly Sundays. They are the ones that I could read over and over again, without getting bored. Sometimes because they make me think, make me laugh or just simply because the postcards are artistic looking WTH. Lo behold my favorite post secret entries of all time:
I wish you never had to trade your stoplights changing powers just for your parents to stay together.
Never ever let your loved ones- human or animals, die alone. Never. Matter of fact, never let anybody you know, even if was just for a second, or a minute, a year or longer, die alone if you are around and could help it, because loneliness should never be the last thing anybody feel before dying.
This is one of my biggest fears.
And this is by far.. my favorite postsecret of all time.
” 852. That white pillar.”
Why my brother is the best brother can be:
Bro hops on to car after 1 and a half hour playing like kids do in McDonald birthday party. Looks left and right. And generally looking very suspicious. Made me a little alarmed at his antics.
Him: Ev, guess what?
Me: What?
Him: Are you hungry?
Me: Hmm. I think so, why? (Narrows my eyes)
Him: I smuggled this chicken for you NAH
Me: shit you stole this from your friends??!?
Him: Nop, they got extra alot alot near the party pack and I just take it only before go back, nobody eat already. Do you like chicken?!!?
Me: Chicken?
Him: Yeap, chicken!!!
Me: GOOD BOY!
Tah Eve Lynn
The sacred hallow cyber site is created, as a testimonial to the writings of age, and the contradicting opinions of the writer.
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